I wasn't there, I know nothing.

Meg Lasswell writes about comics sometimes. She'll also be your friend, if you bring her coffee.











 

Reading makes your brain go "ping"



People I know say the darndest things

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Sunday, April 24, 2005

she's got nothing better to do

So, Dorothy Gambrell, who does the excellent Cat and Girl, has put together a thing. And oh, what a thing it is. She is the sort of person that I think I would really dig, if I ever met her. I'll trust that your natural curiosity will lead you to click that link, and not explain further.

So I've got this other news, too.

*waits for drumroll* ... *hears none, forges ahead nonetheless*

I'm going back to school, to finish this time. I've talked to my advisor, and filled out reams of financial aid crap, and as soon as I get the holds lifted from my account (financial aid holds, I get to talk to accounting gremlins this week) I'll register and be set to go. I'm ... well it's part terror and part exhiliration. Terraration? Exhilirerror? One of those.

 

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Awesomelope

Dude. So. I totally just climbed a wall without using my hands. And then I climbed it without using footholds, which was a zillion times harder, but I managed.

Lori called me last week and said "hey, you wanna take a rock climbing class?" And I like when people present me with opportunities, so I told her "Sure." And it was really, really fun. So I signed up for the next two in the series, and I just got back from lesson #2. SO FUN. It's absolutely freeing in the way that a good ropes course is, where you know if you slip and fall (and I did, several times) nothing bad will happen to you (because somebody's holding your line, and, failing that, the floor is really squishy).

All these metaphors keep occurring to me, too. Not while I'm climbing, though — then it's all "hand hand, foot foot, rock rock." But really, like, I handle a number of different things at my job, right? And I have to make sure I'm doing them all together if things are going to work well. They'll work when I forget things, just not very well. It's the same with climbing: forget to swing your weight over your foot before you push off, or keep your arms straight, or watch where your feet are going, and all you'll do is make yourself tired. Remembering all those things is hard, but by remembering them, you make everything easier on yourself in the end. And so on.

Also I totally contacted my USC advisor today, and walked a mile to the hardware store, and put my shelf together, and I ROCK SO HARD I just thought I'd let everyone know.

I'm really full of endorphins right now. And I love everything and everyone. Just so you know.

P.S. Awesomelope is the name of the princess in Magical Adventures in Space. Her bodyguards, Topato Potato and Sheriff Pony, went back in time to the moment of her birth and named her.


Edit: Soo, Jeff Rowland changed his comic AGAIN. Try this linky link here.
 

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Radio Silence

I returned to Virginia for a week, and it made me think about a lot of things. I know this comes as a shock. "What? Meg never thinks! And she certainly never taints her blog with vague, cerebral garbage!"

But really, it made me think. ("and now you're going to tell us all about it, right? right?!" well, yeah.)

I've mentioned before that I feel like I'm in a state of "becoming" (ignore any Red Dragon references that may occur to you there). At least, since I came home to Cali-for-neeya (and that's what it really felt like — Virginia is just a place I used to live, now) I've been getting a lot done. I hung my white/corkboard in the kitchen, bought and put up new blinds and curtains, finally got my own ficus (I have this thing about ficus trees. It is a mystery even to me.), and replaced the dying bean-bag with a nice chair from Ikea. It almost looks like someone lives here, now. And I've impressed a lot of people at work in the past week, including myself. All the same, my dishes are still dirty and I have a thousand boxes stuffed with junk I can't bring myself to chuck stashed away in cabinets and under the futon and my bed. And though Spidell has offered to pay for me to finish my degree, I haven't made any movement toward getting that started.

I spent so long feeling so bad. I'm thankful every single day for where I am now, that I don't go to sleep crying and walk around feeling broken all the time. I'm really comfortable, and I think that's part of what's standing in my way. I have to finish my degree. Maybe it's part of my genetic makeup, maybe it's just because that was The Plan since forever. The thought of going back to USC is part eager challenge, part nauseating terror. It's the nauseating terror that keeps me from picking up the phone and starting to reconnect. Yeah, I could transfer, but I'd feel like I lost, somehow. I hate USC, I don't want it to beat me. All the same, I don't want to beat myself. Been there, done that.

I've been at Spidell almost a year now. Am I different? Are my personal demons chased away or sufficiently bridled? I don't know. I think until I can start the ball (giant, Indiana-Jones-style boulder) rolling and keep it rolling, I haven't really changed that much.

Current Music: Strokes, "I Can't Win" (haha, that sounds terrible. I didn't pick it, I swear, it was just on.)

Current Mood: Pensive, as per usual.

 
 
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