I've had this feeling lately. It's like I can hear the rumbling of giant machines at a great distance. Huge cogs are turning somewhere, operating something I don't yet understand.

How's that — melodramatic?

I'm ready to make some positive change, that's all. I like to think of it as cusping. The past several months, I've been like a seed trying to germinate. I'm ready to turn into something (hopefully not a weed). I mean, I'm already something, but I want to be something more. My new year's resolution was to stop being so frickin' scared of everything all the time, but that's more a backup to my endeavors than an endeavor in itself. I feel like I can direct what I grow into (and if I don't? it's weed city, baby.), and I've been trying to figure out what I want that to be. Not that I can't change, later, but I need A Direction to start in.

So I been thinkin'. Thinkin' hard.

I want to start drawing, daily. I want to start writing, daily. I want to take that UC Berkeley online extension class on indexing. I want to read, and cook, and travel. I want to be, if not fearless, then fearless enough to live my life and be myself.

I'm done waiting.